I'm gonna have a badass scar
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
