If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
