Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
