Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
