She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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