I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
