Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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