you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
