He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You are the jesus of drinking
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
