Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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