Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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