my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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