so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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