I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
