Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
