Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
