The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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