I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
