Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
