dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
