i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
