We're facebook friends in real life
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
