Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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