Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just come out here and I will go home with you...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
