he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
