Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Sober January is a disaster.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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