So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
