I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
