Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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