So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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