his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize