The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
