He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
