Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize