yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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