I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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