Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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