sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
