It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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