There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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