I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
