I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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