Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize