this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
