More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
