You can't special order awesome
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
