3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I could fuck to npr.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
