Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
