dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
