You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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