Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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