Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
