If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
