we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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