if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am available for nakedness
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
