I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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