when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
