Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
