josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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