What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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