4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
