oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
