My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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