I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm always down for nudity.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
