...so i touched it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
